I know I'm a bit late on this, but the losers (yes, I'm jealous) at my school who are still allowed to trick-or-treat are still snacking on their candies during class, so I think I'm still allowed to post about it.
Wax Lips and Fangs Seriously? I'm kind of confused by these. I know they're safe to eat and all, but are people actually trying to pass these off as candy? I mean, they're just wax. You might as well give out candles for the kids to chew on.
Raisins I really don't know why people give these out. Maybe they're trying to push some sort of health agenda. Maybe they just hate kids. Either way, children want sugar, not shriveled grapes.
Tootsie Rolls Who makes Tootsie Rolls again? Whoever they are, do they really think people are that stupid? Yeah, it's brown like chocolate. It even kind of smells like chocolate. But everyone in the world can tell that these are NOT chocolate.
Peppermints Okay, these really aren't that bad. I mean, they're fine when grandma gives them out and they'll do in a pinch. But the fact is, we would all rather be eating Skittles and Reece's Cups.
Jesus Pamphlets Kids go from door to door asking for candy because they like candy. Not because they care about your religion. These pamphlets are not going to change their minds. They're just going to throw them out and probably egg your house.
Toothbrushes Okay, seriously, dentists. We know oral hygiene is great and all, but come on. Can't kids have one day of the year where they can have a little teeth-rotting fun?
Pennies I know that everyone makes mistakes, and if you forgot to buy the candy, you have to give out SOMETHING. But pennies are just lame. They're not worth anything. You're basically giving out useless bits of metal.
Anything Grape Flavoured It's a universally understood fact that no one likes grape flavoured candies. They just don't taste like grapes. And this is just wrong. Supposedly, the flavour is meant to taste like real Concord grapes, but this is a lie. I have had Concord grapes, and though they don't taste like normal ones, they most definitely don't taste like Jolly Joes.
Okay, I'm all for discouraging small children from getting piss-drunk. But Disney kind of goes overboad. I mean, most of their movies have that one weird scene where the characters get drunk and have an experience something like a bad acid trip.
And if your drinking doesn't result in terrifying hallucinations, you will most likely be transformed into a donkey and shipped to the salt mines.
Also, playing billards is evil too. Because you WILL turn green and look like an old person.
For some reason, books that describe everyone as being really gross-looking get on my nerves. I guess it's cause not everyone is actually gross looking, but somehow it doesn't annoy me nearly as much when everyone gets described as pretty.
I think it could be because describing everyone as ugly seems like a really cheap and pretentious way of trying to make yourself sound smart by being cynical. Or maybe because how you describe people says something about how you perceive the world and people. I mean, if you think everyone's ugly, you're probably kind of a jerk.
Like, looking at the book I've reading for school, you get: "Mrs. Watt's mouth split in a wide full grin that showed her teeth. They were small and pointed and speckled with green and there was a wide space between each one."